In fact, from young there were already hints of such a lesson in life. When I was young, I loved it when the house looked neat and tidy, and always liked to arrange things nicely in the house, be it the table, chairs, books or my bed. Eventually, I start to realise: no matter how hard I try to make the place look clean and spotless, it will return back to its messy state sooner or later. There is no such thing as making a place look perfect forever, it will only last for a brief period, followed by a sense of disappointment when everything goes back to square one. Since then, I lost any motivation to clean up everything perfectly - to me, acceptable looking is already good enough.
Even now, I am reminded of this painful lesson in school. Recently, I have spent most of my time studying for my tests, giving up much of my "gaming" time and rest. However, one by one my results dropped despite all my efforts - Integrated Humanities, Language Arts, Chinese - all plunged like a lightning bolt right out of the sky. The several hours of hard work and sheer studying, was repaid with unsatisfactory results. I always believed in aiming to be a great academic achiever - aiming for perfect scores, but this never came to be. What's more, those who did not even bother to study even did better than me. Now to me, As mean nothing anymore, because now they seem so impossible to achieve. My motivation have dropped, academic aims left hopeless, and if matters were not bad enough - my position in my CCA also took a hard hit, because I spent most of my time studying and attempting to juggle all my activities at once.
Today, I have given up on trying to be a perfect person. I did not excel in everything - my studies, CCA, everything...but ended up performing badly instead. Now, everything seems so hopeless to me - my world is ruined in my efforts to strive to be perfect. I have failed utterly in my quest. I cannot please everyone. I cannot be perfect, and will no longer believe in perfection.
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